Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
