I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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