Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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