Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
