after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
