In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
