They should really pass out barf bags in church
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Randomize
