TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
