a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
