i think my mom watched the whole time
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
