also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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