I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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