"it" just moved
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
