i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
