I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
