I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
