and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
