so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
