i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
