remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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