i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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