Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I supernannyed him into submission
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
