He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
