That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
