i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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