you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Vodka?
Forever.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
