carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
