So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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