He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
