are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
