Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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