I like to think it a success when the cops are called
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
