sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
