just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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