I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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