All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
