Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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