I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
