btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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