He asked to "fluff my boner.."
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
