you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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