Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Sober January is a disaster.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
