You work out of a Hotel?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
