lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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