you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
