why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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