we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
