you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
