you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
