you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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