theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
