hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
